Don't Look Down
by Curlyhedgehog
Summary: A year after the battle for the Mountain, Sigrid has taken up her duties as Lady of Dale, but despite her courage she has not been able to rid herself of troubling thoughts of the night of fire and death at Laketown. Can Fili help her overcome her fears, and perhaps, win her heart and her hand? AU everyone lives. Figrid. Rated for sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

The two princes sat on the edge of the parapet above the great front gate of Erebor, legs dangling casually above the vast drop, each with a tankard of ale in their hand. From below them a breeze wafted straight up the wall, carrying to them the noise of the falls where the River Running left the mouth of the Mountain. Looking down into the vale, they could follow the great sweep of the river as it circled around the town of Dale, veered west, then disappeared behind Ravenhill where it turned south towards the Long Lake. In the town they could see villagers coming and going, hauling fodder, tending their gardens or leading horses to water. Every so often they could just make out the faint ringing of bells. Scattered groups of people were slowly trickling in to the Mountain through the gate below them, dwarves, elves and men coming to celebrate New Year, the first since the battle a year ago. Dwarves rarely needed an excuse for holding a feast, but this past year of peace, of rebuilding, and of strengthening alliances, along with the remembrance of those who had fallen in the battle, had seemed to call for something special, and people were already gathering in anticipation of the holiday in three days' time. The brothers were glad to find a few spare moments of quiet together before their duties as hosts started to occupy their time.

Fili took a sip of his ale. "Where's Tauriel this afternoon?"

"She's gone on an errand to Dale," Kili replied. "I dare say she'll stop in to see Tilda as well. She won't be back until supper."

They sat a bit longer in companionable silence, until Kili broke it. "So, brother, when are you going to find a lass for yourself? I would see you as happy as I."

Fili looked calmly out at the view, but his voice held a warning. "None of your business, Kili."

Kili grinned. "You know, I can ask Tauriel if she has a friend…" Fili sat impassive for a moment, then slowly drained his tankard, and unceremoniously threw it at Kili's head. Kili deftly batted it away with his elbow, laughing, and it went skittering over the flagstones behind him.

* * *

Tauriel was seated on the grass behind Bard's house, watching Tilda wield two wooden sticks against a host of orcs cunningly masquerading as ordinary garden implements, that she had ranged against the wall.

"Yah! Take that, orc!" Tilda spun around and stabbed a rake in the stomach with her left hand, then spun the other way and sliced the head off a spade with her right.

"How was that, Tauriel?" she asked breathlessly, hoping for the approval of the elf she idolised.

"Agoreg vae, Taurauthiel, very well done!" Tauriel smiled, and Tilda beamed at the compliment. "Now, here's a new move for you." She got up and took a stance towards a particularly ferocious-looking garden hoe. "Keep this one secret, though, I haven't even shown Kili this one yet!" She smiled again as Tilda's eyes widened at being in on such a secret, and had just started to demonstrate the sequence of movements when Bain approached them.

"Sorry sis, I need the spade," he interrupted, grabbing it from the line-up and marching off. Tilda pulled a face at his retreating back and swatted aimlessly at another orc.

"He thinks he's so special. You should just see how he swaggers around, especially if there are girls nearby," she grimaced. "It's ridiculous."

Tauriel laughed. "Well, he did help your Da kill the dragon. I'm sure the girls think he's a hero."

"Da's a hero too, but you don't see him getting big-headed about it. And Tauriel, you killed all those orcs, and got us out of the fire, and you're just as nice as can be."

"Thank you, Taurauthiel. But remember I am a warrior, I was trained for such things. Your brother was not, and besides, he is young."

"Well, I'm going to be a warrior just like you, Tauriel. Will you show me that move again?" Tauriel nodded and started sketching out the feint, Tilda shadowing her every move. After three or four attempts, Tilda was making creditable progress, when Sigrid came out of the house, headed towards the vegetable patch to pick some greens for dinner. As she passed them, Tauriel noticed how slowly Sigrid was moving.

Tauriel paused in her demonstration. "How fares your sister, Taurauthiel?"

Tilda shook her head. "Sigrid's no fun anymore. She used to be, before the dragon came. But now she just works and works, and she's tired all the time." She lowered her voice. "And Tauriel, sometimes she has nightmares, and wakes up crying. I've told her she should talk to Da about it, but she won't." She fell silent as Sigrid came back from the garden.

"Tilda, it's time to go in and clean yourself up for supper. Tauriel, will you stay and have supper with us? You're more than welcome." Sigrid issued the invitation with genuine kindness, but Tauriel was again conscious of how flat she seemed. She shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I would love to stay, but I'm expected back." She turned to Tilda. "Taurauthiel, you go get ready for your supper, and I'll see you when you come to the Mountain." Tilda gave Tauriel a hug and rushed off, throwing her sticks at her line of orcs as she ran.

"Thank you for spending time with Tilda, Tauriel. I know you must be very busy, and I hope she's not a nuisance," said Sigrid.

"Not at all," said Tauriel simply.

Sigrid hesitated, and Tauriel could see she was struggling to say something. "Tauriel, these games Tilda plays. They're so bloodthirsty," she began. "She's always talking about killing orcs, and practising chopping their heads off. She never stops. It worries me."

Tauriel laid a hand on Sigrid's arm. "Don't be worried about Tilda, Sigrid. I've seen it before, it is a way of dealing with the horrors that she went through. If she feels she has the power to slay orcs, they won't haunt her dreams." Tauriel paused for a moment as Sigrid considered her words, and looked closely at her face. "And you, mellon? How do you fare?"

Sigrid drew herself up and looked defiant. "Me? I'm fine."

"I am glad." Tauriel wasn't convinced, but decided not to press it, and changed the subject. "When will we see you at the Mountain? We expect you any day."

Sigrid nodded. "I'm bringing the first delivery of our share of the provisions tomorrow. There will be much to do, I hope three days will be enough time."

"But it will not be all work, surely? You will be a guest of the Mountain, and an honoured one. I hope you will find time to enjoy it?"

Sigrid smiled, but the smile didn't hide the weariness in her eyes. "Of course."

Tauriel paused again, looking at Sigrid's face. Then she stirred herself. "I must get going, I've got another stop to make on my way back. Give my kindest regards to your Da, Sigrid, and I'll see you tomorrow." She gave Sigrid an embrace and set off through the town, deep in thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Tilda pointed up in excitement as she and Sigrid arrived at the great gate of Erebor. "Look Sigrid, the battlements are finished! Do you want to go up and have a look at them?"

Sigrid shook her head. "I don't have time, Tilda, I'm too busy." She sighed and gently shuffled Tilda forwards into the hall, anxious not to hold up the line of townspeople behind her, their arms full of crates of fruit and vegetables, sacks of flour, and baskets of eggs. "Come on," she continued. "These provisions have to be delivered to the kitchens." They hadn't made ten steps into the hall before they heard a voice calling to them, and turned to see Balin hastening toward them.

"Lady Sigrid, Lady Tilda, you are arrived at last! How are you both?" he beamed, arms outstretched. "Is your Da not with you?"

Sigrid dropped her eyes and curtseyed, then abruptly discarded her formal demeanour and gave Balin a warm hug. "We are well, Balin. It's just Tilda and I for now. Da's coming from Mirkwood and Bain's still in Dale, helping with the butchering. They'll be here as soon as they can. Are you well? How's your leg feeling?"

"Ah, well, it's not been the same since the battle, as you know, and I fear it won't improve now, but never mind that. Let me show you to your rooms."

Sigrid hesitated and gestured towards the crates of food being carried in behind her. "I've got to take these down to the kitchens…"

"Nonsense, child, the steward can take care of that. Come with me." He ushered them further into the Mountain, through a maze of hewn corridors and wide staircases, before stopping halfway down one corridor to open a thick wooden door.

"Here's your chamber, Sigrid dear, in the guest wing. The bathing pool and necessaries are down at the end of the corridor. I'll get your things brought up straightaway." He turned to Tilda. "I was thinking of a special room for you, my Lady Tilda, right up at the top of the Mountain, next door to the toy workshop." He raised his bushy eyebrows at her. "But perhaps you're too old for such things?"

Tilda tried to feign the indifference she thought her advanced age of eleven years merited, but Sigrid had seen her eyes spark with interest. "Well, a room at the top of the mountain, that would be interesting, I suppose..." Sigrid laughed and shook her head at the two of them.

"Thank you Balin, that sounds wonderful."

Balin took Tilda's hand and moved to go, then turned back to Sigrid. "You get settled in here and I'll come back later to take you down to supper. It's just a small gathering tonight, in the West Hall."

Sigrid nodded, and watched Balin and Tilda depart hand in hand. She had been considering hiding away in her room during supper to go over the lists of food again, but if Balin wanted to escort her downstairs, she wasn't going to disappoint him. He had been so kind to her and her family over the past year. He had initially come to Dale to oversee the craftsmen that Thorin had sent to help mend the walls of the town, but over time he had developed a warm friendship with Sigrid, advising her on all sorts of things – protocol, logistics, even taking an interest in her small garden – and she appreciated his grandfatherly wisdom and gentle manner. She turned to enter her room. A large bed covered with a beautifully soft downy quilt was set against one side, along with two chairs and a small table. A fire crackled cheerfully in the fireplace, next to a washstand with a basin and pitcher of water, still warm, and Sigrid was struck by the thoughtfulness and efficiency of the staff of the Mountain. Then, suddenly mindful of the implications of agreeing to go down to supper, she sat down on the bed and sighed.

* * *

Balin walked slowly but proudly with Sigrid on one arm and Tilda bouncing eagerly on the other as they made their way towards the West Hall. As they approached the doorway, an unexpected level of noise and warmth washed over Sigrid. She looked through the door.

"Balin, I thought you said small? All of Erebor and half of Dale must be here!"

He walked her into the room and it seemed to Sigrid as if every eye in the crowded hall was upon her. They continued to move past table after table, and she knew Balin was walking them up to the top of the hall. She tried one last effort to avert the inevitable.

"I thought it was just an informal supper tonight, Balin. Can we not sit together? The plants you brought me are growing beautifully, I was hoping to tell you about them."

"Nothing would please me more, my dear Sigrid, but honour is always due to the Lady of Dale, and we must do our duty." His eyes twinkled at her. "We can catch up later for a proper chin-wag, hey?" He drew up in front of the long table at the head of the hall, where Thorin, King under the Mountain, was seated with Lady Dis and Fili on one side, and Kili and Tauriel on the other. "By my beard, child, you're shaking like a leaf!" he murmured to her under his breath. "Come, hold my arm, there's naught here to fear." He cleared his throat and raised his voice.

"Sigrid, the Lady of Dale, and the Lady Tilda." Thorin and his nephews rose in their seats and bowed, and Dis and Tauriel nodded and smiled their welcome. Tilda squeezed her thanks to Balin and ran around the table to take a seat beside Tauriel. Sigrid curtseyed, rather inelegantly, but Balin kept hold of her hand and gave her an encouraging smile as he led her around the table to take a seat beside Fili, who rose again as Sigrid sat down.

"At your service, my lady."

"My lord." Sigrid took a deep breath and looked around the hall. Again a disconcerting number of eyes were upon her. She picked up a napkin and twisted it nervously in her hands, then realised what she was doing and put it back on the table. She glanced sideways at Fili. "I'm sorry, but I wasn't expecting to be seated… up here. Balin said it would be a quiet supper."

"This is quiet, by dwarf standards, my lady. We're expecting triple this number come the feast," said Fili, signalling for a tray of food to be brought over. He looked at Sigrid and his brow contracted. "Does the crowd bother you, my lady?"

"No… well, yes, a bit actually," she admitted, as Fili piled up her plate with small pies and sweetmeats. "The crowd, the noise…" She looked at him fully for the first time, unable to give any further explanation, and hoping to see understanding in his bright blue eyes. There was, mixed with no small amount of amusement. He leaned towards her.

"If it would make you more comfortable, I'll order everybody out of the hall," he grinned, two very appealing dimples appearing in his cheeks. He raised his hand and looked at her teasingly, as if only waiting for her nod to send the whole crowd packing.

Sigrid couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face. "Wait, wait, let's not disturb everyone just yet."

Fili lowered his hand. "The offer stands, my lady. If it gets too much, just let me know," and he lifted his tankard in her direction and took a sip.

* * *

Fili stole another glance across at his dinner guest. Sigrid had been as skittish as a frightened foal when she had sat down next to him, and he was glad he had been able to help her relax. They had been talking of the harvest and the rebuilding of Dale, and he was glad to hear that she and her people were making progress, though he was conscious that in the course of their conversation they were studiously avoiding any mention of the events that had happened on that night of fire and death a year ago. His thoughts could not help but stray to that night, remembering an image of her standing beside him, helping to hold down Kili as he lay writhing in pain on her kitchen table. He had been so grateful for her assistance that night, and impressed by her courage, and he would have liked to have told her so, but for her obvious reluctance to speak of it. He'd not had any other opportunity to speak to her since that night, though he had thought of her many a time, especially during the months he had been laid up recovering from the wounds he sustained in the battle for the Mountain. He had been interested to hear news of her from Balin, who was overseeing the rebuilding teams, but as Fili watched her face and listened to her speak, he realised that there was a lot about Sigrid of Dale that Balin had simply failed to mention, and he was regretting that he hadn't made time to lead the work teams himself. Now that she was more at ease, her charm, and humour, and intelligence, were impressing him as much as her courage had then. He also realised that until tonight, he'd never seen her smile or heard her laugh, and as soon as he had seen her light up at his foolish joke, he had bent all his efforts for the evening towards making her smile appear as often as possible. As the food was cleared away from the hall, and some pipers tuned up for some impromptu dancing, he found himself wondering what it would feel like to hold her in his arms.

He could have cheerfully fed his beloved uncle to a mountain troll when Thorin interrupted him to discuss business just as Fili was about to ask her to dance.


	3. Chapter 3

As Thorin leaned over to speak to Fili, Sigrid was watching Kili and Tauriel whirling in each other's arms around the floor, their deft movements making all the other dancers seem awkward by comparison. Sigrid feared she'd look the clumsiest of the lot if she ventured out there, but when Balin approached her and claimed a dance, she decided it didn't matter, it was more important not to disappoint him, and followed him out onto the floor. As they followed the other dancers around the floor, Sigrid adjusted her stride and energy to his, limited as they were by his injury, so as not to let the discrepancy spoil the dance. She looked up as Kili and Tauriel came spiralling past, and Kili gave her a broad smile and a wink. Tauriel rolled her eyes at his antics, and Sigrid laughed. She glanced back at the honour table, and saw that Fili was still discussing last minute preparations for the coming feast with Thorin, though his eyes were on the dancers. She thought she caught the last glimpse of a flicker in Fili's eyes as he gave his attention back to Thorin.

"Ah, my dear, it's a pleasure indeed to match steps with you, but you know my leg's not the best, and I need a rest," puffed Balin. Sigrid's attention returned to her dancing partner, and she escorted him off the dance floor to a bench and a tankard, and saw him comfortably settled. She turned around and she was met with Fili's blue eyes and outstretched hand.

"My lady," he said with a bow. She looked at him a moment, drew in a breath, then placed her hand in his. He led her back to the dance floor, and took her in his arms to dance.

* * *

Sigrid was so light Fili didn't know how she didn't float right out of his arms. Standing face to face, her slanting grey-blue eyes weren't more than a handspan above his, a far cry from Tauriel's good head and shoulders over Kili, and her waist felt tiny under his hands. Kili and his lady came dancing past them, and Kili grinned at his brother. "Need me to cut in?"

Fili's hands tightened around Sigrid's waist, and he spun her away from Kili. "Stay where you are, Kili. I've got this." Kili grinned again and raised his eyebrows at his brother, and with another wink to Sigrid he danced Tauriel away in a whirl of green gown and auburn hair.

Sigrid watched them for a moment, then turned back to Fili. "Can we sit down for a minute? My feet are starting to hurt."

"Of course, my lady." Fili led her to an empty bench and hunted up two goblets of water.

"Thank you." Sigrid sipped appreciatively. Fili watched as she stretched her legs and circled her ankles. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired, I guess."

Fili sat down beside her. "There's no need to apologise. It's been a long year, for all of us."

Sigrid looked around the hall at the people, some dancing, some drinking at the tables and talking animatedly. Fili thought she seemed removed from them, somehow.

"It's so strange. Sometimes it doesn't feel as if it could be real."

"What doesn't?"

She gestured out in front of her. "All of this. Me. I'm supposed to be leading my people, and sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing."

"I feel the same sometimes. I'd never known this life before we set out to reclaim the Mountain. Yet here we are." He clinked his goblet to hers and sipped.

Sigrid looked sideways at him. "I didn't realise that. Everything seems to go like clockwork here, whereas I always seem to be struggling. If it wasn't for Balin's advice this past year, I don't know what I would have done. He's been so kind. He always finds time to talk with me whenever he comes out to Dale."

Fili grinned at her, all dimples and blue eyes. "Balin is a wise dwarf, my Lady."

Sigrid smiled at the compliment and looked into her goblet. Then she placed it back on the table and looked again at the noise and commotion of the throng of people, and her eyes turned dark. "Please, it's just Sigrid. All these people, calling us 'lord' this and 'lady' that… feasting, dancing… and seeing your brother so, so…" She looked into his eyes, and he could see they were filled with pain and confusion. "I don't understand it. How do they all just go on like nothing happened?"

She put her face in her hands and Fili was stricken to the heart. Clearly Sigrid was struggling with something, and whatever it was, being amongst the crowd was causing her distress. He needed to get her out of the hall, away from the noise, the people, and judgmental eyes. He took her hand in one of his, and lifted her chin with the other until she looked at him.

"Sigrid, do you trust me?"

Her answer was absolute. "Yes."

"Then come with me. We're leaving."

"But Tilda…"

"My mother and Tauriel will look after Tilda. Come on."

* * *

Fili had grabbed a lantern and was leading Sigrid by the hand through seemingly endless corridors and flight after flight of stone stairs. She was feeling ashamed of her moment of weakness, but her curiosity was getting the better of her. "Where are we going?" she asked. Fili looked back at her and grinned.

"You'll see."

They emerged at last on the parapet above the great front gate, fully rebuilt from the destruction of the battle a year ago. Sigrid let go of Fili's hand, stepped slowly out into the night, and looked up in wonder. A myriad of stars sprinkled the clear sky. Far below, a faint glow came from a few open windows in the great gate, and were reflected in the dancing water of the falls. Below in the valley, she could see the tiny lights of Dale, a promise of home and warmth in the night. She guessed that in the daytime the view would be clear for miles, but now, in the night, with the cool late autumn air, the stars, the faint sound of rushing water and the occasional hooting of an owl in the trees below, it was utterly entrancing.

"Oh Fili," she breathed. "It's beautiful!"

He was smiling at her, and only took his eyes off her to walk past, swing up onto the parapet, and seat himself on the edge. He turned and held out his hand back towards her. "It's even better from here. Come on."

Sigrid froze. "Er, no, thanks all the same, I'm good, it all looks pretty good from back here…"

"Sigrid. I won't let you fall. Come on, it will take your mind off whatever's troubling you." He tilted his head and gave her a half-beseeching, half-teasing look. "You did say you trusted me?"

The look in his eyes was irresistible, and despite her fear she stepped forward and took his hand. He settled her next to him on the edge of the parapet, keeping hold of her hand all the while.

Without any stone in front of her, she could feel a cool breeze in her hair as it wafted straight up the wall, and she saw it gently ruffling Fili's blond braids. Holding tight to his hand, she trusted that Fili would never let her fall, but she still didn't want to look straight down. Her eyes followed Fili's other hand as he pointed out towards Dale.

"See the lights over there? Those houses are full of people who are sitting safe inside tonight, maybe with their families, or friends, or a sweetheart, and the night around them is peaceful. I think that is something to celebrate, don't you?"

She didn't answer, but kept gazing out into the night.

"We enjoy our food and drink, and song and dance, whenever we can, Sigrid, because peace is purchased dearly, and it doesn't last forever."

He turned towards her.

"I suspect you've not given yourself time to stop, and relax, and enjoy the peace we have won, have you?" he asked finally. "Balin's long been telling me how hard you work for your people. There's no shame in asking for help, Sigrid, if you've been bearing too much for too long."

A tear began to fall down her cheek, and Fili lifted his free hand and wiped it away gently with his thumb.

"I have an idea. Come out with me tomorrow, just to take a moment and relax. We have plenty of staff to take care of your duties for a day, and I'm sure Kili and Tauriel will look after Tilda. What do you think?" He squeezed her hand.

Sigrid took a deep breath, and finally spoke. "I don't know what to think. All I know is that a minute ago I was in the hall, nothing made any sense, and I was afraid I was about to fall apart, and now I'm sitting on the edge of a cliff, everything makes sense, and I don't feel afraid at all." Finally she turned and looked at his face. "And it's because of you."

Fili grinned at her. "I'm taking that for a 'yes.' Now, let me take you back to your chamber so you can get a good night's sleep, and I'll come find you in the morning."

She smiled back at him, his blue eyes and dimples irresistibly infectious. He stood up on the parapet, and effortlessly lifted Sigrid into his arms. She let out a squeak, reminded of the sheer drop just inches away, and hid her face in his neck. As he lightly jumped down from the ledge he whispered, "Sigrid, breathe. You're safe with me."

She lifted her head and looked at him. "I know."


	4. Chapter 4

Sigrid slept and woke refreshed, for the first time in she didn't know how long. The large bed was certainly the most comfortable she'd ever slept in, but she suspected her peaceful sleep may have had less to do with physical comfort and more to do with her memory of Fili's warm hand clasping hers and his low, measured voice calming her fears. She freshened up with the basin and pitcher of water on the washstand, dressed in riding breeches, and headed downstairs to the kitchens.

She had thought to check in with the kitchen about the next shipment of provisions from Dale, but the staff there already had everything in hand, and there seemed little left for her to do. Fili found her breakfasting in the West Hall and slid into the bench beside her.

"Good morning, Sigrid. How did you sleep?"

"Really well, thank you," she admitted.

"Good. If you've not changed your mind, I've pilfered us a picnic from the kitchens, and I've got ponies saddled and waiting at the stables. I've spoken to Tauriel and Kili, they are taking Tilda out for a riding lesson, most likely involving dangerous weapons if I know them, and later Balin's organised her a tour of the toy workshop. Everything's taken care of here." He angled her the half-beseeching, half-teasing look she remembered from the parapet last night. "Will you come?"

Sigrid slowly shook her head at him. His face fell. "How have you managed to do all that this morning? I'm only halfway through breakfast."

His grin returned immediately. "I asked people for help, Sigrid. And I'm taking that for a 'yes.'"

* * *

They set off mid-morning and headed south-east through the recently-harvested fields around Dale. A year on, the land beyond the fields was still displaying the effects of the desolation of the dragon, with the burnt trunks of trees standing starkly against the sky, but on the ground new shoots of grass and wildflowers had taken hold during the spring, and now in late autumn there were still dandelions and daisies to be found peeping through the grass, some late yarrow still flowering, and great clumps of gorse and heather regenerating here and there. Fili chatted lightly about his life on the road with Kili before the quest for the Mountain, interrupting himself from time to time when he spotted a hawk or a deer, to point it out to Sigrid. They rode until lunchtime, by which time they had left the area of desolation and had come to a rolling plain, well-grassed and dotted with late wildflowers, bushes and the occasional flourishing tree.

They laid out their picnic on a low rise where they could look back towards the Mountain, and unsaddled their ponies and tethered them loosely to let them graze. The kitchen staff had outdone themselves in preparing lunch, packing various choices of pies, sandwiches, cakes and fruit, with a skin each of water and wine to drink. Fili lounged on the grass, telling Sigrid tales about the dwarves' trip from the Shire to Erebor.

"What was the best part?" she asked.

"Rivendell," he replied, pulling a knife out of one of his boots and cutting himself a piece of fruit. "Feasting, music, talking, sitting, whatever you liked best. We stayed two weeks there."

"And the worst part?" she asked tentatively.

"Beorn's hall," he replied. Sigrid looked surprised, as he had intended. "Only time I've ever had a tankard as big as my forearm, and what do you think Beorn filled it with? Milk."

Sigrid stared at Fili a moment, then burst out laughing, and threw the crust of her sandwich at him. He fended it off and took a moment to enjoy the happiness on her face, before turning his attention back to the food.

"You ride well, Sigrid," Fili remarked as he picked out his sixth pie.

Sigrid swallowed a bite of cake and took a sip of wine. "I ride around the farmlets whenever we get a new family of settlers, to welcome them and make sure they have everything they need. With so many families wanting to get settled before winter, I've been spending a lot of time in the saddle lately."

Fili sat up and looked at her. "It doesn't sound like there is anything going on in Dale that you aren't doing yourself. Why do you take on so much, Sigrid? I appreciate you want to look after your people, but you won't help them if you collapse from exhaustion."

Sigrid was silent and took another sip of wine. Fili mentally kicked himself for spoiling her happy mood.

"I'm sorry, forgive me…" he started.

She took a deep breath and downed the last of her wine. "No, you're right. I do take on a lot, probably too much. But it's better that way."

"Why, Sigrid?" he asked gently. "Tell me."

She rubbed a hand across her forehead. "Since that night in Laketown… Fili, you were there, you know what it was like. The memories of it are still so vivid for me. The fire, the orcs… if I keep myself busy, I don't think about it as much. And then at night, I think maybe I'll sleep."

Suddenly Fili understood. "So you drown yourself in work," he said, reaching out and laying a hand on her cheek. As soon as he realised what he'd done, he pulled his hand away, fearing he had overstepped himself. "And does it help?"

Sigrid frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, when you choke down these memories, do they actually go away? I fear they'll keep on reappearing. Have you never tried talking about it?"

She looked at him. "You're the first person I've ever spoken to about it."

Fili's brow furrowed in concern. "Not even your Da?"

"He went through much worse than I did, Fili." Sigrid looked down and twisted her hands in her lap. "There were others again who lost their lives. It seemed silly to make a big deal of it when other people had been through so much worse."

Fili nodded. "So you kept silent." He took her hand. "Sigrid, you can't go on like this."

Sigrid sighed, and looked into his eyes bleakly. "I don't know what else to do."

This time he didn't hesitate to gather her up in his arms. He drew her close and lay down on the blanket with his arm around her and her head on his shoulder.

"Here, Sigrid, we'll think of something," he said. "You can't go on like this, that's plain. We'll think of something."

They lay silent for a while, Fili idly stroking her hair, before he realised that she had fallen asleep.

* * *

She woke startled, sitting bolt upright. Fili was beside her, and he reached out to her in concern.

"Sigrid, love, it's all right. You fell asleep," he murmured. She relaxed immediately and rubbed her face.

"I fell asleep? I'm all right, I just didn't know where I was for a minute." She looked to the west where the sun was low in the sky. "We ought to be getting back. How long have I been asleep?"

"About two hours," he said. "You're catching up on some of the rest you've needed these past months." He grinned. "At least I hope it's that, and not me."

She smiled at him. "It's not you, Fili, believe me. Some company I am, falling asleep on you. I'm so sorry."

He brushed a strand of hair back from her face. "A beautiful woman falls asleep in my arms? I don't think that's anything to feel sorry about." His compliment caused a delicate rosy glow to suffuse her cheeks, and he was inordinately pleased to see that he was able to provoke such a reaction in her. "Listen, Sigrid, I know that was hard for you to talk about, earlier on. I wanted you to have a good day."

Sigrid smiled into his eyes. "Fili, I have had a good day. It's been perfect." She suddenly paused, looked down, and shrugged ruefully. "Well, almost perfect."

Fili nodded gravely. "I know, I shouldn't have pushed you to talk about it. I'm sorry."

Sigrid looked at him. "Don't be sorry. You don't know what it means to me to have… someone… understand. But that's not what I mean." She paused, looking at his face. Then Fili felt her hand slide into his hair and she leaned in to gently press her lips to his. She withdrew slowly, and looked again into his eyes. "There. Now it's perfect."

Fili gazed at her, his body frozen. He slowly let go the breath he had been holding. "Now I really don't want to go back."

Sigrid laughed and looked fairly pleased with herself. "We can always come back tomorrow."

"Now is better," he said, and he drew her close and kissed her, gently and slowly, savouring the feel of her in his arms, the scent of her skin and the faint taste of sweet wine and honey cakes on her tongue.

They broke the kiss reluctantly, knowing that they had to pack up and head home. But before she left the circle of Fili's arms, Sigrid spoke.

"Fili, about tomorrow."

"You're spending it with me, I hope."

"Well, I hope so too, when you hear what I have to say. I'm going to Laketown."

Fili was surprised. "Sigrid, love, are you sure?"

She nodded. "Yes, I'm sure. You're right, I can't go on trying to ignore my fears. I need to go to there and face them. And when I'm with you, I don't feel afraid of anything."

He brushed a strand of hair back from her face. "Ah, Sigrid, I don't have the power to banish your fears. I wish I did."

"You don't think so? Fili, last night you convinced me to sit with you on the edge of a forty foot sheer drop."

He grinned. "No, I just held out my hand. You were the one who decided to walk towards me." Then his face fell and his eyes were full of concern. "What if it makes things worse?"

"Things can't get any worse. Listen to me. I want to do this before I lose my nerve. I'm going, I'm going tomorrow, and the only thing left to decide is if you are coming with me." Sigrid pulled in a huge breath, then exhaled. "And I can do it alone, but I'd really rather you came."

Fili smiled and shook his head at her. "You're as stubborn as any dwarf in Erebor."

Sigrid smiled. "I'll take that for a 'yes.'"


	5. Chapter 5

They arrived back at the Mountain towards the end of supper, and headed straight down to the hall. Balin was seated at a bench just inside the door, and they slid in beside him, keen not to be called up to the honour table.

"Balin," said Sigrid softly, touching him on the back as she sat down.

"Sigrid, my child! Bless my beard! Sit, sit! And Fili! Come, have you not eaten?" Balin looked around to call for food and ale. "Here, eat, eat."

"How was your day, Balin? I hope Tilda behaved herself?"

Balin laughed. "I took her through the toy workshops this afternoon. She's been given so many toys and games and jewellery boxes she'll need a cart to get them back home. We see so few children here, Sigrid, and none so charming."

Sigrid smiled at Balin, and looked around the hall. "She won't want to come back home, by the sound of it. Is she here?"

"Gone off to bed, tired out. Now tomorrow, Dis was hoping to take Tilda down to see the mines. I trust that you would approve? She'll be perfectly safe."

"I know she will." She glanced at Fili. "I confess I was hoping to ask someone to look after Tilda tomorrow, as I'm going to be out all day."

Balin patted her hand. "You're her sister, child, not her mother. You've more than earned some time for yourself." Balin looked at Fili and raised his eyebrows. "Has this lad got something to with it?" he teased.

Sigrid laughed. "Yes. And no. I'll tell you all about it when we get back. But now I need to get to bed, even though I did sleep half the afternoon. It's an early start tomorrow. Good night." She kissed Balin on the cheek, and gave Fili's hand a squeeze. He reluctantly let go of her fingertips as she moved away.

They watched her go, and then Balin turned to Fili. "I'm glad. She's happier than I've seen her this twelvemonth."

"She's been jumping at shadows this twelvemonth, Balin. I don't know how to help her."

Balin drew back and looked at Fili. "It's her battle, lad, not yours. Just stand beside her. She has more courage than she knows, she will work it out."

Fili looked into his tankard and lowered his voice. "Balin. It's more than that. I would have her care for me, if she would."

Balin snorted. "Fili, my lad, do you think I got my first axe yesterday? That's already plain as plain. I doubt either of you need much of a push."

Fili's eyes lit up and he laughed, and he took a sip from his tankard. Then he narrowed his eyes at Balin suspiciously. "You knew what you were doing when you sat her next to me last night, didn't you?"

Balin held up his hands. "I'm usually quite happy to take credit for more wisdom than I have, but I'll confess to you, lad, that it wasn't my doing. I'll not say more than that. Now go on with you."

* * *

It was still dark when they rode out for Laketown the next morning. Fili had arranged for sturdy mountain ponies to be saddled for the journey, rather than the sleek pleasure-riding ponies of yesterday, as the day would be a long one. It would be at least midday before they arrived, and long after sunset by the time they returned. Sigrid's resolute conviction of the night before had given way to a silent nervous apprehension that filled Fili with concern, but which didn't prevent her from sticking to her plan nonetheless. Balin was right, she had more courage than she realised.

Just after sunrise Fili finally broke the silence that had surrounded their ride thus far. "Sigrid, you need to talk to me. What do you want to do when we reach Laketown?"

She started twisting her reins in her hands, and he recognised the skittishness that he had seen two nights ago. "I don't know. I haven't really thought out the details."

"Well, let's see. We'll reach the top of the Long Lake around midday. It would be another half hour to ride down to the mouth of the Forest River, if you want to get closer."

"Da told me Thranduil's people helped to build a village of huts there?"

"Yes, on the shore opposite where the town was. We can't walk out to the ruins, the bridges haven't been rebuilt, but if you wanted to, we could get a boat from the village."

"Are the ruins visible from the top of the lake? I'm not sure I want to run into anybody."

"They are, so why don't we start with that."

Sigrid nodded, and lapsed back into her uneasy silence. They rode onward, the tense atmosphere so different to yesterday's easy companionship. Fili said nothing more, mindful of Balin's advice, but when they dismounted mid-morning to water the ponies, he wordlessly pulled her into his arms and held her. The tension in her body gradually eased, and she drew in several deep breaths, before pulling back to look at him.

"I'm fine, Fili. Really I am. I'm just afraid that some horrible memory will surface at any moment, and I'm dreading it. It's almost worse than the memories themselves."

He smoothed a strand of hair back from her face. "I'm right beside you, Sigrid."

"I know you are." She looked at him a long while, a slightly puzzled look on her face. "Why, Fili? You've dropped everything to help me with this, to be here with me. Why?"

He stroked her face with the back of his finger. "Do you truly not know?"

Tears welled in her eyes and he pulled her back into his embrace. "Now, we need to keep going. And _you_ need to keep going, so please eat something. And this time, when we're riding, talk to me."

They continued on their journey, the road sometimes following the riverbank and sometimes taking a more direct route through the scrubby heathland when the river meandered away in its course. From the tension in her body and the way she was twisting the reins, Fili could see that Sigrid was gradually drifting back into her troubled thoughts.

"Sigrid, listen to me. You need to stop thinking about your fears."

The bleak look from yesterday returned to her eyes. "I don't know how to do that. I can't control them, they just happen."

"You need to focus on here and now. Look around, what do you see?"

"The road. The river. You."

"No, I mean really look. Slow down. Breathe. Look at all the colours, the shapes. Look at the details." Sigrid looked at Fili for a moment, then drew in a deep breath, and looked around slowly, silently, a little crease of concentration between her brows. Gradually her eyes widened, and she looked back at Fili.

"I've just realised I never really notice things," she said. "I look at them, but I don't really _see_ them, not like this. All the details, the colours, it's amazing." He was relieved to see the tension in her body starting to ease. "Where did you learn that?"

"My first swordmaster. It's a technique to help you focus. It's no good being distracted in the middle of a fight. Do you want to keep going?"

"What do you mean, keep going?"

"Listen to what's around you. What do you hear?"

She closed her eyes and concentrated. "The wind blowing… birds chirping… there's a bird flapping on the river… the ponies' hooves on the road… squeaks from the tack and the saddlebags…" Fili was impressed – she was a fast learner.

"Very good. Now breathe in. What do you smell?"

Sigrid breathed in, slowly and deeply. She wrinkled her nose. "Mostly horse. There's also leather, dust, and a sort of wet earth smell from the riverbank…" She opened her eyes and regarded him curiously. "You do this in the middle of sword fights?"

Fili laughed. "No, you do it beforehand. It brings your attention to what's going on around you. Then you trust your instincts to do what you were trained to do." He narrowed his eyes and gave Sigrid a teasing look. "Are you planning a change of career?"

She smiled back at him and shook her head. "Just trying to understand."

And as Fili looked at her, he found himself wondering whether it was the technique or himself that she wanted to understand, and he knew which of the two he hoped it was.


	6. Chapter 6

Scattered trees succeeded the scrubby heath as they approached the northern edge of the lake, marking the outer edges of the Mirkwood forest. Soon after midday they made their way through thicker stands of trees, and came out suddenly onto a grassy flat, which in spring would be covered with wildflowers, but was now yellow and withered, leading down to a rocky shore, and the Long Lake was in front of them. To their left, they could see the point where the river merged slowly into the lake, with heathland beyond, while the shore leading away down to their right was thickly wooded with plantations, giving way to some cultivated fields and livestock pastures, and they could make out a village of huts nestled along the edge, with the denser forest of Mirkwood behind. Fishing boats were lined up along the shore, and in the water, its blackened stumps jutting out like the grasping fingers of a burned hand, were the ruins of Laketown.

They dismounted. Fili took the reins of her pony, and Sigrid slowly walked across the grass to the shore of the lake. There it was, the place that had once been her home, and that now haunted her dreams. Or what was left of it. She felt Fili come to stand beside her.

Eventually she spoke. "I half-expected to see it still smoking."

"Breathe, love. That's the past. Come back to the present, like we practised. Look. There's no fire, no orcs, no dragon."

She dragged in a shuddering breath. "No, there's not. There's nothing. Nothing at all." She felt stunned, empty. Was this all it was? This quiet place, these old burned stumps, was this the place that had haunted her all this time?

Finally she looked down and shook her head, and tears scattered over the grass. "I should be over this."

"You're too hard on yourself. Just give it time. You faced down orc blades and dragon fire that night, through no fault of your own, completely unprepared." He lifted her chin, cupped her face in his palms and wiped her tears with his thumbs. "Trained warriors have quailed at less, Sigrid. But not you. You had such courage."

Sigrid laughed bitterly. "Me? Courage? I was scared the whole time. I'm still scared."

"You may have felt scared, but you didn't hesitate to help us, you didn't hesitate to look after Tilda, you didn't hesitate to help me with Kili. You never faltered."

She shook her head again, shaking off his hands, and looked away.

He gripped her arm. "Sigrid, listen to me. Courage isn't the lack of fear. Do you think I wasn't scared that night? Kili was dying in front of me, and there was nothing I could do to save him. I was terrified."

Sigrid swung around to look at him, eyes widened in disbelief. "That's not possible. You… you rushed at that orc, without a weapon… you got us out of the fire…"

"I'm a trained fighter, Sigrid. Those things were easy for me. But seeing Kili like that…" He let her go and brushed a hand over his face. Then he gripped her arms again, and his face turned hard. "If anything, the blame is mine. For all of it. I made so many mistakes. It was me and my kin that led the orcs to your house that night. And the dragon, if only I had gone with Thorin, maybe I could have stopped him from rousing it, somehow. Then I could have spared you all this pain. I could have spared everybody." He looked at her and there was anguish in his eyes.

Sigrid was suddenly furious. She grabbed the front of his jacket and shook it, pummelling his chest, though for all the good it did she may as well have tried to shake a mountain. "No, Fili, don't you _dare_ ," she shouted. "Don't you _dare_ blame yourself for what happened. You were the only thing that made any sense to me that night. None of it was your fault, but your kindness, and loyalty, and courage – you couldn't have done anything better. You did everything right. Don't you ever, ever doubt that." She looked desperately into his face. "It's the only memory of that night that I want to hold on to, you, and I have loved you ever since. You were everything. You are everything. You are everything to me." She pulled him towards her and kissed him fiercely.

She could not have imagined that he would meet her with such a response. He crushed her body to him, and deepened her kiss wildly. She moaned and he immediately broke the kiss and loosened his grip. She pulled him back to her. "No, don't let me go. I want this, I want you," she mouthed under his lips, and he groaned and gripped her tighter. They fell to the ground, and he effortlessly lifted her around to lay beside him. She tugged off his coat and ran her hands under his shirt up the smooth warm skin of his back. He pulled off her jacket and opened her blouse to expose her stays, exploring her skin with his hands before using his lips to devour her neck and shoulders. Without pausing he reached down to his boot and pulled out a knife, and she gave a gasp as he used it to slice through the laces of her stays, freeing her breasts. He wrenched the garment out from around her and threw it and the knife aside, and then fell on her breasts, kissing and tugging at each in turn. She moaned again, bringing her hands forward to entwine her fingers through the braids of his hair. He returned to her mouth for another savage searching kiss, and she matched each thrust of his tongue with one of her own. She could feel his shaft pressing against her hip, and she reached down to fumble with the drawstring of his breeches and take him in her hands. He groaned and leaned his forehead on hers, momentarily stilled by her fingers on him, then he reached down her legs. She shivered to feel the cool air on her skin as he wrenched off her boots and pulled down her riding breeches, and then his searching fingers found their mark, and all was heat. She gasped and arched her back, rocking against his hand, his fingers sliding in and out of her core, then spreading her wetness along her folds to circle around her nub. He was relentless, and when she felt her climax swell and burst over her, his mouth swallowed her cry. Still trembling, she grasped him tightly and guided him into her centre. His eyes were locked on hers as he slid inside her, and she could see they were dark and intense with desire. He began to move, increasing speed and thrusting into her desperately, wildly, as if by doing so he could undo the past and dispel all their pain. She held on to him as tightly as she could, repeating his name, then with a great shudder he spent himself inside her, with his forehead pressed into her shoulder and her name on his lips.

* * *

They lay entwined on the grass where they had fallen, in a jumble of half-discarded clothing and dishevelled hair, with her head resting on his shoulder. Fili had pulled his coat over them for a blanket.

He kissed her hair. "You have such faith in me. I don't deserve it."

"Yes, you do. And you've already told me I'm as stubborn as a dwarf, so don't argue with me."

He laughed quietly and held her close, and she lay enveloped in his warmth, his strength, and the delicious masculine scent of him.

She heard him whisper. "I'm sorry, love. That wasn't how I wanted our first time to be."

"You're sorry?" She pulled back to look at his face.

"No, love, I'm not sorry it happened, I'm sorry it was a bit… frantic. I'd hoped for something more… romantic. Something more befitting you." He cupped her face with one hand.

She laughed a low laugh and snuggled back into his shoulder, one hand idly fiddling with his braids. "On the contrary, Fili my love, I thought you befitted me very well."

He pulled her closer and kissed her hair again. "Next time will be gentler, I promise. Ah, Sigrid mine. You are truly mine now, as I am yours." He paused, and his voice lowered again to a whisper. "Marry me?"

Sigrid rose on one elbow to look at Fili's face. "You can take this for a 'yes,'" she said, and she leaned down and pressed her lips to his.

She felt Fili's hand slide into her hair to cup her head, and he held her to him and deepened the kiss. When he released her, she could see his eyes were dark with emotion. He settled her back into his shoulder, and she nuzzled her lips into his neck.

* * *

A few minutes later, Sigrid broke their beautiful silence. "Fili, when you said you'd hoped for something more romantic," she began.

"Yes?"

She grinned. "Are you admitting that you were thinking about it?"

She felt his laugh rumble in his chest beside her. "Of course I was. Since our dance at supper the other night. And you slept two hours in my arms yesterday. Dwarves love stone, but we're not made of it, you know." He kissed her hair again, and his voice turned soft. "Have you really loved me since Laketown?"

She ran her fingers through the hair on his chest. "Of course I have. Why do you think I was so nervous at supper the other night?"

He pulled his head back to look at her in mock dismay. "You made me believe it was the crowd."

"It was, a bit. But it was mostly you."

He nestled her closer. "Well, I am yours now, and you are mine, and that's all that matters. And as much as I want to stay here forever, we need to get ourselves together before someone sees us."

"You'd better find my corset then," she said with a smile. "Where did you throw it?"

They sat up and started to help each other reassemble their disordered clothing, laughing as they found pieces here and there. Sigrid had just found one of her riding boots behind a tuft of grass when she looked up and saw Fili gazing at her. "Sigrid, amrâlimê. Come here to me."

She walked towards him and he gestured for her to sit in front of him. He knelt behind her and she felt a frisson down her spine as she felt his hands gently start to unbind her hair. He had pulled a comb from one of the many pockets of his coat, and she sat spellbound as he painstakingly cleared every tangle from the dishevelled mess, occasionally caressing her neck and shoulders and murmuring in Dwarvish, and then slowly weaved it into an elaborate braided love knot.

"There." She turned and saw him sitting back on his heels, a satisfied smile on his face. She smiled back at him, and softly patted the intricate weave to try to get a sense of the design.

"Fili, it is beautiful. Thank you." He gazed at her for a moment longer, then reluctantly he stood and offered his hand to help her up.

"Come on, now we really do need to get going."

She had almost forgotten that they were miles from home, and in a place that had held memories she had dreaded to think about. She looked out across the lake towards the ruins, source of the fears that had haunted her these many months, and it was like looking at a completely different place, although the change was not in the view, but in her. She looked back at Fili, his eyes glowing with love and his hand patiently outstretched to her. As she took his hand she knew that, though not healed, she was on the path to healing, and that this place would hold no terrors for her again.


	7. Chapter 7

Just as the journey to the lake had been lengthened by dread, the return journey was shortened by joy. They rode side by side, hands clasped, occasionally talking but more often silent, and looking at each other more than the road. The sun set to their left in a gaudy display of pink and gold, and one by one the stars appeared above them, and on they rode through the twilight and into the dark. A couple of miles from Erebor Fili felt his pony tiring, and to spare it, he dismounted to lead both ponies by their bridles.

Through the darkness he saw the lights of the guard posts at the great gate, and he pointed them out to her.

"Look, Sigrid love, we're nearly home." When she didn't answer, he looked up to see that she was dozing in the saddle. She was upright, but with her eyes closed, holding on to the saddle and swaying with every step the pony took. As they approached the gate, Fili saw a guard come out to meet them, and at that moment, Sigrid swayed and started to fall. Fili caught her in his arms. She briefly woke, put her arms around Fili's neck, and closed her eyes again.

The guard rushed forward in concern. "My lord, is the lady well?"

"The lady is well, Hamber, just tired. Be so good as to take the ponies, and I'll take her to her chamber." Hamber bowed and took the ponies' bridles and led them off towards the stables.

Fili nestled Sigrid's head next to his and carried her gently in his arms through the great gate. As full as the Mountain was with guests for the New Year's feast, he was thankful not to run into anyone else as he made his way down the corridors to her chamber. He pushed open the door, eased her through and pushed it closed behind him, pleased to see that a fire had already been laid in anticipation of her return, and laid her gently on the bed. He took off her boots, and she sighed and snuggled into the soft quilt. As he moved to step away, he felt her catch hold of his hand, and he turned to see that her beautiful grey-blue eyes were open, and he could see the firelight reflected in them.

"Stay."

He gazed at her tenderly, and said nothing. Then he grinned an impish grin, all sunny blue eyes and dimples, and he kicked off his boots and coat and climbed into bed next to her.

They rolled into each other's arms. Sigrid raised her lips to kiss Fili's neck, and he smoothed back her hair from her face. She continued to press kisses down his neck towards his chest, swirling lightly over his skin with the tip of her tongue, and tugged at his shirt. He caught her wandering hands and brought them to his lips for a kiss.

"You're tired, love. We've got forever. Get some sleep."

"I slept on the horse."

"You fell off the horse, as I recall."

"And as I recall you made me a promise. You wouldn't renege on a promise, would you?"

He grinned and held up his hands in mock surrender. "Peace! Lady of mine, I will honour my promise." Then just for the mischievous pleasure of hearing her say it, he added, "What was this promise again?"

In one fluid movement she straddled his waist, grabbed his wrists with her hands and pushed them back onto the bed over his head. She leaned in until her lips were a hair's breadth away from his and whispered, "Next time. Gentle."

Fili abruptly flipped Sigrid over, and it was her turn to have her wrists pinned above her. With mischief glinting in his eyes he brought his lips down to Sigrid's as if to kiss her, stopping tantalisingly close, his braids brushing her cheeks, and purring, "At your service, my love."

He sat up and peeled off his shirt and breeches, and her hands went immediately to the hard planes of his chest, but when she sat up to taste his skin again he gently lowered her back to the bed and said, "Another promise for you, my love – next time, your way. But just for now, I want you to relax." He could see her eyes flash as she considered defying him, but then she smiled a deliciously wicked grin that sent desire stabbing through his body, and nestled herself back onto the bed.

He locked his eyes on hers and he began removing her clothing, slowly, sliding off each piece without breaking his gaze, until she was naked beneath him. Lastly his fingers reached for the love knot he had bound into her hair, and he slowly unwound it and let the waves of honey gold cascade down around her face and shoulders on the pillow. Only then did he run his eyes and then his hands down her body, lightly and slowly, reverently, watching the flickering light of the fire reflect in her eyes and glint off her hair and skin.

"Ah, Sigrid mine, how beautiful you are," he murmured. He positioned himself near her feet, and lifted one to his lips. He caressed the smooth skin of her legs with his hands, and then began raining torturously slow butterfly kisses along its length. He moved slowly up her thigh towards her centre, but stopped short, tenderly placed her leg back down on the bed, and lifted the other one in his hands. Again he applied the slow exquisite torture of his kisses, up and up, once again stopping achingly short of the place she most desired his lips.

"Amrâlimê, I want you to roll over," he whispered, and she complied, rolling onto her stomach with her chin resting on her hands. He began kissing his way up the length of her spine, using his hands to explore the smooth planes of her back and waist, and when he reached the top, he lifted her hair away from the nape of her neck and kissed it, gently biting and swirling against her skin with his tongue. A light sheen of perspiration had broken out over her body, and he tasted it as he ran his tongue back down her spine to the small of her back, using his hands to trace the graceful curves of her backside, and he smiled as he felt her shudder with pleasure.

"Now roll back, please." She was slower to comply this time, languorously reluctant to move muscles that were so completely relaxed. When she finally rolled to her back and met his gaze, her eyes were so concentrated with heat that his breath caught in his throat. She reached up and tangled her fingers in his braids to pull him down to her mouth. He let her drink her fill, then resumed the slow worship of her body, kissing down the length of her neck to her shoulders. He moved down to take each of her breasts into his mouth in turn, slowly laving and teasing her nipples with his tongue, and he felt her back arch and her hand slide into his hair as she moaned his name. He continued down her body, dipping his tongue into her navel, and then, with one last look into her eyes, he bent his head and slid his tongue into the folds of her sex.

He used his fingers to spread her apart, giving him greater access to her slick bud, and alternated between swirling wet passes of his tongue and languorous sucking with his lips. She moaned into every stroke, and when he moved his hand to slide a finger into her core, sliding it slowly in and out of her wet heat, she arched her back and flung her arms wide to grasp the quilt beside her. He slowly increased his speed, until he felt her muscles contracting around his finger and heard her cry out, her hips bucking under his mouth, but not letting go until she had crested the wave and her shuddering body collapsed on the bed.

Panting, she pulled his head up towards her, and he crawled up her body, planting kisses as he went. When he reached her mouth he delved into it with searching thrusts of his tongue, which she met with equal intensity. He settled himself between her legs, and she reached down between them to guide him inside her. He filled her, holding her close, and he slowly began to move, excruciatingly building her again towards her peak, straining to hold himself back as long as possible. When he could finally hold back no longer and plunged over the edge, she followed close behind him, their hands clasped and their ragged breathing mingling with damp kisses and whispered words of love.


	8. Chapter 8

Sigrid woke the next morning and luxuriated in the delicious feeling that her bones had melted away during the night. She stretched and opened her eyes, and Fili was there, dressed in shirt and breeches and lying on the bed beside her, tenderly brushing strands of hair from her face.

"Good morning, beloved," he said softly. "How did you sleep?"

"Mmmmmm." She wanted to speak, but her muscles wouldn't obey her. She stretched again and smiled. "Mmmmmm. Fili. What did you do to me?"

Fili grinned, equal parts mischief and carefully banked desire, with a hint of smug self-satisfaction, and all blue eyes and dimples. He leaned in and kissed her.

"Only what you deserve, my love. Are you hungry? I got us some breakfast from the kitchens while you were asleep." He motioned with his head towards a tray of food at the end of the bed. Sigrid realised she was famished. She sat up and slid the tray towards them. Fili had brought thick slices of new bread, butter and honey, and they sat up in the bed and ate their fill. Fili captured her fingers to lick the last drops of honey from them, then sighed.

"As much as I want to stay abed with you, my love, it's already mid-morning and the feast is today. I'll be needed downstairs. And we need to speak with your father."

"It's not his consent you need, Fili, it's mine, and you have that."

"I know, my love. But I would have him know from us before he hears it elsewhere."

Sigrid laughed. "Are we the talk of the Mountain, then?"

He captured her fingertips for another kiss. "Not yet, but when I look at you, I don't think there could be a dwarf, elf or man in the kingdom who could mistake the love I have for you."

Sigrid pressed her palm to his cheek, her eyes soft and full of love. "My love. My Fili."

He leaned into her touch and gazed at her a moment longer. "I'll go find your da. Now stop looking at me like that or I'll never leave."

* * *

Sigrid bathed and dressed, and went down to the kitchens to check on her shipments of provisions. The head cook escorted her through a hive of busy staff, already peeling, chopping, pounding and stirring in preparation, and showed her the crates of food that had been received.

"It's all here, my lady, and we do greatly appreciate your generosity," she said.

"It's the least we can do. Are you sure there isn't anything I can help you with?" Sigrid looked around the room fruitlessly for a job that needed doing.

"Not at all, my lady. Everything's running right on schedule here."

Sigrid nodded. "Of course. I'll leave you to it." The cook bobbed her head and went back to her tasks. Sigrid stood in place a moment longer, wondering what she ought to be doing, when she heard Tauriel call her name.

"Sigrid. Fili told me I might find you here." Tauriel helped herself to two warm drinks, and handed one to Sigrid. "Come on. Let's find somewhere we can talk."

Sigrid followed Tauriel to the West Hall, which was deserted at this hour, and they seated themselves at a bench.

Sigrid sipped her drink and tried to appear nonchalant. "You've seen Fili?"

Tauriel smiled. "Yes, I have. He came to our room early this morning to tell Kili something. Can you not guess what it was?"

All at once Sigrid's pretence at reserve collapsed. "Oh, Tauriel, I don't deserve such happiness."

Tauriel took hold of her hands. "Indeed you do, mellon. I could see you were suffering, Sigrid, and I thought Fili would be able to help you, but I didn't foresee this. It's much, much better than I hoped."

Sigrid stared at Tauriel. "You? You planned this?"

"Not all of it," she laughed. "I talked to the healer in Dale about your situation. He had seen similar cases and gave me some valuable advice. Then I asked Balin to bring you to supper and seat you with Fili. The healer told me you would benefit from talking about it, and he seemed the best choice. The two of you managed the rest on your own."

Sigrid was struggling to find words to express her gratitude, when Kili burst into the room, followed more sedately by Fili himself. Kili swiftly wrapped his arms around Tauriel and kissed her neck, then turned to Sigrid.

"Sister!" He embraced her and kissed her cheek. "I suspected something was going on the other night at supper. I'm glad you've been quick about it." He grinned as he dodged Fili's half-hearted cuff, and returned to put his arms around Tauriel. "It took a long time for me to convince Tauriel to trust in our love, but I knew she'd come around." He raised his eyebrows and grinned at the two of them. "Doesn't look like you two had any such trouble?"

"Thanks, Kili. If you've finished taunting us, we need to go. Sigrid, love, your da's waiting." Fili took Sigrid by the hand and she stood up to go. She turned back to Tauriel and held out her free hand.

"Thank you."

Tauriel grasped it. "You're welcome, mellon."

* * *

Fili led Sigrid by the hand through the corridors of the Mountain. "Your da's in his room. He arrived yesterday from Mirkwood with the elven host."

"It's the anniversary of the help the elves gave to Laketown," said Sigrid. "Da went to thank them in person. It's a wonder we didn't run into him on the road yesterday."

Fili stopped short at the thought of being found on the grass yesterday by Sigrid's father. Then he grinned. "Sigrid, I don't suppose your da has any black arrows left, does he?"

Sigrid laughed. "No, of course not. And in any case, he'd have to go through me if he wanted to put one through you."

Fili laughed and squeezed her hand. "See? You have more courage than you give yourself credit for."

"That's because you're beside me. Now come on, let's get this over with."

* * *

Sigrid knocked softly on the door. Her da's voice called her to come in. She grasped Fili firmly by the hand and led him into her da's room. Bard was sitting on the bed with Tilda, surrounded by dozens of the most cunningly crafted wooden toys, trinket boxes and puzzles. They looked up and saw Sigrid, and Tilda leapt off the bed and ran to hug her sister.

"Where've you been, Sigrid? I've been having the best time. I've just been showing Da what the toy makers gave me yesterday. And Kili and Tauriel showed me how to shoot arrows from horseback, and Lady Dis took me down into the mines, and I had a go with a pickaxe, and you should see the room Balin gave me…"

"I'm glad you're having fun, Tilda. I want to hear all about it. But first, I'm sorry, I need to talk to Da. Can you give us a minute?" Tilda gave Sigrid a last hug and jumped back on the bed to arrange her gifts.

Bard got up from the bed to embrace his eldest daughter. "Sigrid. What's Tilda talking about? Have you not been here?" He looked at Fili and held out his hand. "Fili. What are you doing here?" Fili let go of Sigrid's hand to grasp Bard's, and Bard looked between the two of them, suspicions clearly growing in his mind. "What's going on?"

Fili cleared his throat. "Bard, sir, we've come to tell you, I love your daughter, and she has consented to be my wife."

Bard's eyes widened. He turned to Sigrid. "Sigrid, is this true?"

"Yes, Da. I love Fili, and he loves me."

Bard's voice was cautious and measured, but his eyes betrayed how stunned he was. "I've been away three days, and you're betrothed?"

"Yes, Da."

"That's a bit sudden, don't you think?"

"Yes, it might seem a bit sudden. But please, Da, hear me out. It's not sudden to me. I have loved Fili ever since the night you killed the dragon, a year ago. That night, under the worst of circumstances, I saw the best of him. His kindness, his loyalty, his courage, his honour… how could I not have loved him? Then three days ago, we sat down to supper together." She smiled at Fili. "I was so nervous to be around him. But he was nothing but considerate, and kind, and understanding. I was afraid, Da, and he took my hand and made me feel brave. And for some reason, he loves me. And that makes me the happiest woman in the world."

Bard looked at his daughter for a long time. Finally he turned to Fili. "And you, Fili? Have you anything to say about this?"

"I think Sigrid underestimates herself, sir. She is so generous towards me, and so hard on herself that she can hardly see her own worth. But I see it. I've seen her sweetness and generosity and courage demonstrated time and time again. She has my heart, now and always."

Bard drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. He regarded them both. "Sigrid, long ago, your mamma's father opposed our match. Your mamma stood up to him, and let him know how much she loved me. I swore then that I would never oppose the happiness of any of my children if they truly loved." He looked at Sigrid with tears in his eyes. "Just now, you sounded just like her."

"Oh, Da." Sigrid ran into her fathers' arms and hugged him tightly. Tilda jumped off the bed and threw her arms around both of them. They laughed through their tears and hugged her. She turned to Fili.

"Are you going to marry Sigrid, Fili?"

He bent slightly to bring himself to Tilda's eye level. "I am, Tilda. I hope that's all right with you?"

Tilda threw her arms around Fili's neck and hugged him. "It's great news. I'll be able to come to the Mountain all the time!"

Fili laughed. "You'd always be welcome here in any case, Tilda."

Bard released Sigrid to bend down and embrace Fili. "I've always had the highest regard for you, Fili. This turn of events is certainly a surprise, but there's nothing like children for that. Meanwhile, we still have a feast to attend tonight, and it seems I now have a wedding to plan. But first, Tilda, I want to talk to you. What was that you said about shooting arrows from horseback?"


	9. Chapter 9

Sigrid and Fili took leave of Bard grateful for the knowledge that their decision had his full support. Fili led the way back to his chamber, deep in the heart of the mountain. As he led her inside, she caught a glimpse of a fireplace, a weapons rack, and a bed in the large space, before he leaned his back on the door to shut it, and drew her into his arms.

"Ah, Sigrid, amrâlimê. That was beautiful, what you said to your da."

Sigrid leaned her forehead on Fili's. "I just told him the truth."

"As did I. You have my heart, now and always." He started kissing her neck, and she leaned into his touch.

"How much time do we have?" she whispered.

They were interrupted by a sharp knock at the door behind them. Fili sighed. "Go away."

Kili's voice called through the door. "Open up, Fili. Mother wants Sigrid, and she wants you to dress and get downstairs to talk to Thranduil. You know we can't leave Thorin alone with him."

Fili rolled his eyes at Sigrid, and turned to open the door a fraction, one arm still around Sigrid's waist. "What does Mother want with Sigrid?"

"I don't know. Probably to welcome her to the family or some such."

Fili sighed again. "I'm sorry, love. I have to go. I'll see you downstairs later?"

Sigrid nodded. "It's all right, Fili, I knew things would be busy today." She hesitated, and lowered her voice. "Does your mother know about us?"

Fili grinned. "Yes, she does. I spoke to her this morning after I saw Kili. She's over the moon."

Sigrid took in a deep breath, and blew it out loudly. "All right, then. I'm off to talk to your mother. Lead on, Kili."

Fili smiled and kissed her. "See? Courage. I'll see you downstairs."

* * *

Kili led Sigrid to Dis's room, not far from Fili's, pointing out different rooms and corridors along the way. "Tauriel and I are in there, and that one leads to the furnaces. Here's mother." He stopped and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Kili gave Sigrid an encouraging smile. "Go on Sigrid. You'll be fine. Mother's no dragon."

Sigrid nodded to Kili and opened the door. Dis was seated at a table to one side of the room, looking through the contents of a carved wooden box. She looked up and smiled as Sigrid entered, then stood and held out her arms.

"Sigrid, child. I'm so pleased," she said.

Sigrid crossed the room, and bent to embrace Fili's mother. She was shorter than Fili, with Kili's dark hair, but an exact replica of Fili's laughing blue eyes smiled from her face. Sigrid smiled back, heartened by the kindly welcome.

"Both my sons have been lucky enough to find love, which makes me very happy, and I don't think there has ever been a daughter of Durin that could boast two such unique daughters-in-law." Dis took Sigrid's hand in both of hers. "Now I'm not going to stand on ceremony, I'm much too excited for that. You must call me Dis."

"Thank you, Dis. That's very kind."

"Have you and Fili had a chance to speak with your father?"

"Yes, just now. He was very surprised, to say the least, but he's very pleased as well."

Dis laughed. "Well, with my sons being the way they are, I've learned to cope with surprises. It's a wonder they haven't turned my beard completely grey. The reason I ask, is that if you should wish it, I would be honoured to add a few dwarven touches to your dress tonight, that would be appropriate to the future bride of the future King under the Mountain."

Sigrid froze.

Dis saw her face and hurriedly backtracked. "It's all right, Sigrid dear, I understand if you'd rather keep the news in the family for the moment…"

Sigrid swallowed and shook her head. "It's not that. It's just that I hadn't really put that together before. Fili's going to be King under the Mountain. And I'm…"

"The woman he loves," Dis said gently. "That's all you need to focus on. You'll work out the rest together." She paused, then looked up at Sigrid with a very familiar half-beseeching, half-teasing look in her eyes. "Now, I don't mean to press the issue, but…"

Sigrid laughed and hugged Dis. "I know. Fili explained it to me the other night. Celebrate when we have the chance. Dis, I'd be very proud."

* * *

From his seat at the honour table on the dais, Fili looked around the milling crowds in the Great Chamber of Thror, where the peoples of Erebor, Dale and Mirkwood, merry in anticipation of the night to come, were already helping themselves to tankards of ale and glasses of wine. Sigrid was nowhere to be seen. He looked along the table, past Thranduil, Bard and Thorin, and noticed his mother's chair on the other side of Thorin was also empty. Bard leaned past Thranduil to speak to him.

"Fili, relax. She's on her way."

Kili left his seat beside Tauriel and came to stand behind Fili, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Mother has some scheme brewing, I dare say. You know what she's like, she loves a spectacle. Look, there they are."

Fili stood up and looked down the hall. The crowds were parting to let his mother slowly walk towards them, and beside her walked Sigrid. As the two of them passed by, the crowd grew hushed, then groups of Mountain folk started nudging and whispering to each other.

From this distance, Fili could make out that Sigrid was wearing a flowing dress of pale blue, cinched at the waist, and that her hair was done up in an intricate love-knot like the one he had braided for her at the lake. Her eyes were glowing, her skin delicately flushed, and when she looked up at him and smiled, Fili felt his heart would burst. She was beautiful, and he stood mesmerised. Kili eventually gave Fili a little push, and muttered under his breath. "Fili, go down and meet her halfway. Unless you want me to do it?"

Not taking his eyes off Sigrid, Fili answered, "Stay where you are, Kili. I've got this." He walked around the table and stepped down from the dais, and made his way towards the centre of the hall. As they got closer, Fili could see in her hair dozens of tiny twinkling stars, wrought from mithril and white gems, and the cinch around her waist was a sash of the same design, clearly the painstaking work of master smiths at the height of their craft. But it was not Sigrid's beauty, or the gems in her hair or around her waist that caused the folk of the Mountain to murmur amongst themselves – it was a pendant hanging around Sigrid's neck, nestled close to her heart, a pendant also wrought of mithril and set with white gems, but not of a design of stars. It was Fili's emblem.

They met in the centre of the hall, and Fili took both of Sigrid's hands in his.

"Amrâlimê, you're a vision."

"It was Dis's idea," she replied, looking away from Fili's face briefly to smile at his mother.

"I wore these at my betrothal. They need to see daylight every hundred years or so," Dis laughed. "I had the pendant made years ago." She laid her palm on Fili's cheek. "A mother's hope for her son." Fili turned his head and kissed her hand.

"Thank you, Mother."

Dis grinned, her sunny eyes so like her son's. "Well, I've certainly made the entrance I was hoping for. The rest is up to you two," and she headed off through the crowd toward the honour table.

Fili gently touched the pendant lying on Sigrid's breast. "Wearing this is a message that you're betrothed to me. Everyone can see it." He looked around at the crowd, all eyes fixed upon them, and he was reminded of their supper just three nights ago, and he smiled. "Is the crowd bothering you? I could still order them all out, you know."

Sigrid's gaze never left Fili's eyes. "What crowd?" And she leaned in to kiss him.


End file.
